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Tips For Working From Home Without Childcare (or, how not to go completely crazy in the first year)

Luckily the sound of typing didn't wake her

I started a telecommuting job the same week I found out I was pregnant.

The job involved managing a non-profit news website, with part-time hours and could be done completely from home, in my pajamas. In fact in my pajamas, still in bed, under my duvet, if I didn't mind perching my laptop on my knees.

It seemed as though everything was falling into place. It was so nice not to have to buy special maternity work clothes and commute to an office every day as I got bigger and bigger.

Telecommuting and pregnancy went perfectly together.

At about the eight-month mark I started to think about how to arrange my work with a newborn. My non-profit wages meant that I could not really afford childcare. I also wanted to be the one taking care of my new baby, but I wanted to keep my job as well.

How hard could it be?

I tried to find someone with this kind of experience but all the mothers or mothers-to-be I knew either worked out of the home and used childcare, or were stay-at-home parents who didn't have a paying job.

So I posted a question on a parenting forum. Just finding the right thread was hard enough - there were boards for working parents and boards for SAHMs but nothing for someone who was basically doing both at the same time.

The responses I got were overwhelmingly negative.

"You won't be able to do both at the same time"
"You might be able to cope for the first few months but once they become mobile you won't be able to get any work done"
"I've tried it and gave up because it was just too hard"

There was one lone voice, a poster who said that she had managed to do this for a few years, but warned I would have to be VERY organised and VERY flexible to manage.

Hmmmm. Not very encouraging.

However as I didn't have the option of not working at all, and I didn't feel like  job hunting for an out of home job while the size of a small whale, I decided I would make the best of it and see how it went.

Three years on........

It is very hard.

And you do indeed need to be VERY organised and VERY flexible, but it's doable.

Some days I wish that I didn't have someone yelling "Mummy" in my ear every ten minutes, that I could just work in peace, surrounded by adult companions who don't need me to feed them, dress them or empty their potty and wipe their bums. (well, I guess there are some jobs like that, but you know what I mean.)

But most days I can't believe how lucky I am that I get to see the wonderful changes happening in my growing girl.

So for anyone thinking about taking this path here are ten things I've learned:


1. Write everything down. If you are going to even attempt to manage a job while taking care of your children you are probably already a very organised person. But balancing what is two or even three jobs if you are taking care of all the housework too, takes multitasking to a new level. Write everything down - whether you keep a digital planner, or an old-fashioned paper one, make sure you log everything you need to do and write down all your deadlines. Use emails alerts, alarms, reminder services to make sure you don't forget anything. Particularly in those early months where your brain is still hostage to all the hormones and you're not getting enough sleep.

2. Be flexible. You might have to change your schedule or your working space every few months as your child grows. What works for the first few months when they are not mobile and sleep every few hours, will not necessarily work for a toddler, especially when they give up their daily nap (curses.)
Find time to evaluate your work space and your schedule regularly to see if you need to add anything (baby gates) or change when you make important phone calls etc.

3. Find a play-date group or create one. You already have so much on your plate that you may think scheduling play dates is too much to bother with. It's worth making the effort. Even if you sometimes feel slightly resentful that the SAHMs seem to have all this free time you don't have, remember you don't know how much pressure they have in their own lives. It's good for your baby/child to have the chance to socialise with peers before starting school, and it's also a chance for a break for you, a chance to get out of the house and away from your desk.

4. Find another work-at-home parent to moan to. It does help to have someone who understands the pressure of working from home while looking after kids. You might have to find someone online if there is no one like you in your local area. It's worth it though to be able to blow of steam and vent a little to someone who is sharing your experience. (Feel free to moan to me, if you can't find anyone else)

5. Set your priorities. A lot of the time you are not going to be able to do it all. Work out what absolutely has to be done in all areas of your life and realise that some days you will have to let the other stuff go. For example my daughter has to be fed, clothed, washed and given a safe place to play, and I have to meet the minimum requirements of my job to keep it. I might like to always have a sparkling home but if I have to leave the dishes, or not make the bed some days to make sure the other two priorities are met then so be it.

6. Make sure the rest of the household understand (if not accept) those priorities. There's nothing more disheartening than feeling like superwoman because you managed to get all your important work projects done, plus engage your child in an amazing art project, plus wash, dress, and feed yourself and your little one, plus have dinner on the table when your partner returns home, to be asked grumpily why you couldn't find time to make the bed or weed the garden. Aghhhhhh. Explain the realities of your multitasking life to your spouse, explain what your main priorities are and why some days not everything will get done. Try to stay calm while you do this. Expect to have to explain all this again every two months or so. Try to stay calm.

7. Embrace short-cuts. There's a perfect way of doing everything and a quick way. Let go of being a perfectionist and aim to do the best you can with the time you have. Don't feel guilty about this (see No.10 below.)

8. Schedule a break at least once a week. Ideally you will be able to do this once a day, but that probably won't happen. So try to be firm about making sure you get at least one short break a week for yourself.  It doesn't even have to be long, perhaps just 30 minutes for a quiet bath, or an hour to read. It just has to be somewhere where you cannot hear any crying, yelling, or demands on your time.

9. Accept help whenever it's offered. This is a piece of advice which is given to new mothers a lot, but it's particularly pertinent to work-at-home parents. You're adding an extra element into what is already more than a full time job. Snap up offers of childcare, meals or help with errands. Trying to be super super woman will lead to burnout.

10. Let go of the guilt. I think all mothers (parents?) feel some guilt about their choices. If you work away from home there is worry about leaving your child with others all day. If you stay at home then there can be guilt about not providing financially for your family and worry about never being able to get back into the job market. The bad news for work at home parents is that while you get both sides of positive things (caring for your child while still earning money for the family), you get a double helping of guilt and worry that you're doing two jobs and neither well. But you need to do your best to take a deep breath and let that guilt go. Focus on what you are achieving and don't give in to the worry.

And if you have any tips for doing that last one, then please let me know.

Review: Clickworker

What is it?

Clickworker is a website hiring freelancers to work on writing, translating, researching, and data processing. It's free to sign up.

How does it work?

Once you have signed up and logged in you are taken to your 'home page'. This page displays your available jobs and assessments. You take online assessments in language and writing skills, translation skills or internet research skills to open up different job opportunities.

As described by their website:

The tasks available may vary from clickworker to clickworker based on qualification assessments, previous work assessments, education, language abilities, and interests. Depending on your total profile and qualifications you may be offered some projects or may excluded from others. Payment is made for each accepted and completed task. The amount is fixed and published ahead of time.

Back after a break

Sorry for the long break but I took some time out to have a baby! Normal services to resume soon. Expect some articles on how to make a living as a writer at home with a baby in tow.

Best wishes

Books to improve your writing

Things have been a little quiet on the blog front recently while I was on a completely unplugged holiday. It was wonderful to have a whole week without the Internet, phones or TV. What I did do was some old fashioned reading. A lot of reading - I managed to get through several great books. With so much spare time I took the opportunity to re-read a couple of my favorite books on writing and a new one which I had been wanting to read for some time.

Here are my recommendations for three top books to improve your writing:

The Elements of Style by Strunk and White

This is a book worth keeping on your desk or bedside table and re-reading every now and then. I try to go through it once a year to remind myself what I should be doing and to catch all those bad habits which creep into our writing.

The Associated Press Stylebook (Associated Press Stylebook and Briefing on Media Law)

This is the bible for me. It's a very useful guide to have and to be familiar with. Many news companies and websites ask for familiarity with AP Style for job applications. If you start using it regularly in your freelance work then you will be ready for any copy tests at a job interview.

Stephen King On Writing

This was a new book for me this vacation. I've wanted to read it for some time after many recommendations. It's a fascinating combination of memoir of a great writer plus tips and encouragement. Much of the advice applies to fiction writing rather than news or articles but there are so many great points for all writers. My favorite is the advice to reduce your piece by 10% when you proof read.